new month...
10.10.2004
grammar... ahehehe...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cubicle
I opened the cubicle door. I went inside and closed the door gently, making sure that nobody’s around. I’m covered with sweat. I’m shaking. Yet, I know. I’m ready. Though, a voice inside my head is telling me not to do it. But I know I need to. The voice is wrong. It’s my only choice –– my only hope. I don’t want to do this either but certain circumstances are pushing me to the limits. It would be just a matter of seconds. It would be over soon. I can do this. I don’t want to but I need to. Because after this, everything would be a lot better. Everything would be just fine. Everything would be perfect. Everyone would feel much better. Only one person prevents that from happening. And he needs to be erased completely from this world. I know this is the only way.
I felt a tear run down my cheeks as I took out the knife from my pocket.
Sigh. PE can never be more exhausting. I can feel every muscle on my body crying out of too much energy drained. I can feel my brain melting down of too much work. I feel like collapsing any moment now. Fatigue is really getting in on me as I entered the shower room to, in some miraculous way, relax myself.
It was noisy, as usual. You can hear guys joking and laughing. Some were sharing stories. And others were busy doing something else. Too much joy can be perceived that it seems like no one feels any kind of tiredness at all. It was the usual setting and for months now, I got used to it.
I was about to enter the other side of the room when I bumped into someone looking very scared. I was surprised for it seemed like he hadn’t seen me at all. I think he is a freshman, judging by the green shirt he’s wearing. He has a fair complexion, and has a scar on his face. His bumping to me was really rude so I looked to him with disgust until I saw the expression printed out on his face. His eyes show tears welling up. His lips were dry and he was shaking. He seemed tired and frightened as if he just finished watching a horror movie. I was suddenly baffled.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, looking very bemused.
He stared at me with his big, dark brown eyes as if, any moment now, he would cry. He stood there, looking oh-so-hopeless and pathetic. He seemed speechless of what he is feeling until he spoke.
“Some––Someone died…”
My face turned into a big question mark. My heart started beating louder and faster. The hair fibers on my skin began to stand up. I felt a cold chill travel through my spine. Have I heard right? Did he just say that someone DIED?
I was about to ask him why when a screaming voice pierced into our ears all of a sudden. Almost everyone inside the shower room rushed inside the small room. They wanted to know what that thing is that made a guy shriek like that.
I looked back and saw that the guy I bumped into was no longer there. I didn’t care. Maybe he was just a ruthless guy. So, I decided to just join the others in looking and observing at the thing worth screaming for.
I tried to find my way into the center of the circle. I got bumped, kicked, smacked and beaten as I tried to find an area where I could stand better to see what is happening. I can hear gasps and more shouting as I continue moving inside the circle. Surprisingly, the others let me in.
When I finally got a good view of what is happening, I understood what the gasps and the shouts meant. That guy I bumped into was right.
I saw him lying on the floor, dead. A knife is pierced on his chest. The shower is open, which made his blood flow from one cubicle to another. No one dared to approach the body. All of them were shocked. Everyone was clueless for his or her next move, except me. It was my best friend.
I rushed into his body, crying. I did not know what to do. My head started spinning. Every part of my body is shivering. My lips were dry and my tears make my vision blur. I can’t speak. I am feeling angry, anguished, hurt and panicking all at the same time. I felt like I was going to burst.
I shouted at the people encircling us. I shouted for help –– any help. I rushed to my teacher in PE to ask for help. I rushed to everyone I can see. I was crying. I wanted to save him. He can’t die like this. He shouldn’t die like this.
It was too late. My best friend was already dead when the ambulance reached us. He was declared dead upon arrival at the hospital. And the police claimed it as a suicide. I can’t believe it. The last time I saw him, he was still laughing at our classmate’s jokes. He was even teasing me about the girl I like. He was smiling a lot. He seemed so contented, so happy. How can he deprive himself of something that makes him happy? How can he do such a thing?
Depression? Could be. But he should have told me something. I should have known. I remember though, that he once told me life stinks big time. Those were the times that he was so pressured by everything that is happening on his life. But it’s too light for a reason to commit suicide. He knows that. But, still. It could be.
Love? Maybe. But he doesn’t have a special someone. He doesn’t have anyone to love that can hurt him eventually. He doesn’t have that. How can it be love? Yet, maybe that is the reason. Maybe it is because of lack of love life. Maybe it’s because he feels like he’s not being loved anymore. Maybe.
Family matters? Possible. Though, I really wasn’t able to meet his family. I don’t know. He never told me anything. All I know is, he feels alone when he’s at home. He feels isolated. He told me that. But he also told me that he loves his family so much. And he knows that they would cry if he would be taken out of their world. So it can’t be. Though, it’s possible.
Academics? Perhaps. There’s a lot of pressure. Even I can’t stand it. Then again, he’s good at this. He likes studying. I know. He’s one of the best in the batch. It can’t be academics. I know it has a lot of pressure, but he can withstand this. Yet, perhaps.
Or maybe it wasn’t really suicide. Maybe he didn’t kill himself. He can’t do that. So, maybe he was killed. Maybe someone who doesn’t like him for any reason at all killed him. He has no enemies. Except for one. Yeah. That freshman he bumped into as we were going to the gym. That freshman looked at him in disgust, in a cursing manner, as if my best friend did something wrong to him. But my best friend didn’t do anything wrong. He was even the one who said sorry. That freshman. What does he look like again? Fair complexion, a scar on his face, big eyes and a face that is totally pissed off with his life. Oh yeah. Oh no. Oh gosh. The guy I bumped into. That’s the guy! So that’s why he was so scared! That’s why he’s so speechless! He was even the first one who knew about what happened to my best friend. It’s because he killed my best friend! He killed my best friend!
I won’t be able to forgive him. I would tell on him right now. No. Maybe at the funeral. Yeah. I would find the right time to expose his crime. He’s a criminal! I just hope I won’t see him before then or I don’t know what I can do to him.
The day of the funeral came. It wasn’t like any other. A lot of lights are opened making the room appear very bright. The song being played wasn’t that sad. It was even kind of catchy. The atmosphere that his family tried to build was happy. It’s what my best friend wants. To make everyone happy. So even on his last day on earth, he wanted every one to smile not because he’s already dead but because even just once their life, they met him.
I saw his mother crying. And somehow, I knew what she was feeling. It was a great loss. I know. And most especially, she does.
The door opened. The guy I hated the most at that moment entered the room. Everyone was silent. Most especially me. He walked towards my best friend’s coffin. How dare he. How can he look at the person he mercilessly killed? How heartless can he get!
I stood up, ran towards him and punched him. Everyone was shocked. I ignored it. I have in front of me the person who is the reason why I won’t be able to see my best bud ever. I don’t care now. I want revenge. I want him to pay.
“How could you? How could you show up to the funeral of the person that you pitilessly killed?” I said, looking at him with flaming eyes.
Every one in the room gave an audible sound that signified their shock, while the person I hate the most was standing up, probably so that he can answer my question.
“Because… That was supposed to be me.”
This is it. Goodbye world. Goodbye to everything and everyone that tried to make me happy. I am sorry. I can’t stand it anymore. I am going to do this.
I was about to stab myself and finally end this suffering I am feeling right now when I saw something dark red trickling out of the floor. I looked at my body. Have I stabbed myself already? I knelt down, examined the red thing oozing out from the neighboring cubicle and confirmed that it is blood.
I rushed to the adjacent cubicle and found him on the floor. He was gasping for air. A knife is stabbed at his chest and shower was open, which made the blood flow from his cubicle to mine.
I was stunned. I tried to speak but no word came out my mouth. It tried to run away but my feet were glued to the floor. I felt like I was paralyzed. I can’t do anything but to stare at his gloomy eyes where I can see a flashback of my life. I saw everything that life offered me to be happy.
He was crying. Tears are running down his cheeks. I can see that he was very sorry and regretful for what he has done. He looked at me in the eyes, took out every ounce of energy left in his dying body just to say:
“Don’t… It doesn’t feel so good when you’re dying.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ang purpose nito??? hehe.. kung wala kayong nakitang kahit isang grammatical error, then you SO need to study english... hehe... I think there are 20-30 or more ata... ehehe... :)
Cubicle
I opened the cubicle door. I went inside and closed the door gently, making sure that nobody’s around. I’m covered with sweat. I’m shaking. Yet, I know. I’m ready. Though, a voice inside my head is telling me not to do it. But I know I need to. The voice is wrong. It’s my only choice –– my only hope. I don’t want to do this either but certain circumstances are pushing me to the limits. It would be just a matter of seconds. It would be over soon. I can do this. I don’t want to but I need to. Because after this, everything would be a lot better. Everything would be just fine. Everything would be perfect. Everyone would feel much better. Only one person prevents that from happening. And he needs to be erased completely from this world. I know this is the only way.
I felt a tear run down my cheeks as I took out the knife from my pocket.
Sigh. PE can never be more exhausting. I can feel every muscle on my body crying out of too much energy drained. I can feel my brain melting down of too much work. I feel like collapsing any moment now. Fatigue is really getting in on me as I entered the shower room to, in some miraculous way, relax myself.
It was noisy, as usual. You can hear guys joking and laughing. Some were sharing stories. And others were busy doing something else. Too much joy can be perceived that it seems like no one feels any kind of tiredness at all. It was the usual setting and for months now, I got used to it.
I was about to enter the other side of the room when I bumped into someone looking very scared. I was surprised for it seemed like he hadn’t seen me at all. I think he is a freshman, judging by the green shirt he’s wearing. He has a fair complexion, and has a scar on his face. His bumping to me was really rude so I looked to him with disgust until I saw the expression printed out on his face. His eyes show tears welling up. His lips were dry and he was shaking. He seemed tired and frightened as if he just finished watching a horror movie. I was suddenly baffled.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, looking very bemused.
He stared at me with his big, dark brown eyes as if, any moment now, he would cry. He stood there, looking oh-so-hopeless and pathetic. He seemed speechless of what he is feeling until he spoke.
“Some––Someone died…”
My face turned into a big question mark. My heart started beating louder and faster. The hair fibers on my skin began to stand up. I felt a cold chill travel through my spine. Have I heard right? Did he just say that someone DIED?
I was about to ask him why when a screaming voice pierced into our ears all of a sudden. Almost everyone inside the shower room rushed inside the small room. They wanted to know what that thing is that made a guy shriek like that.
I looked back and saw that the guy I bumped into was no longer there. I didn’t care. Maybe he was just a ruthless guy. So, I decided to just join the others in looking and observing at the thing worth screaming for.
I tried to find my way into the center of the circle. I got bumped, kicked, smacked and beaten as I tried to find an area where I could stand better to see what is happening. I can hear gasps and more shouting as I continue moving inside the circle. Surprisingly, the others let me in.
When I finally got a good view of what is happening, I understood what the gasps and the shouts meant. That guy I bumped into was right.
I saw him lying on the floor, dead. A knife is pierced on his chest. The shower is open, which made his blood flow from one cubicle to another. No one dared to approach the body. All of them were shocked. Everyone was clueless for his or her next move, except me. It was my best friend.
I rushed into his body, crying. I did not know what to do. My head started spinning. Every part of my body is shivering. My lips were dry and my tears make my vision blur. I can’t speak. I am feeling angry, anguished, hurt and panicking all at the same time. I felt like I was going to burst.
I shouted at the people encircling us. I shouted for help –– any help. I rushed to my teacher in PE to ask for help. I rushed to everyone I can see. I was crying. I wanted to save him. He can’t die like this. He shouldn’t die like this.
It was too late. My best friend was already dead when the ambulance reached us. He was declared dead upon arrival at the hospital. And the police claimed it as a suicide. I can’t believe it. The last time I saw him, he was still laughing at our classmate’s jokes. He was even teasing me about the girl I like. He was smiling a lot. He seemed so contented, so happy. How can he deprive himself of something that makes him happy? How can he do such a thing?
Depression? Could be. But he should have told me something. I should have known. I remember though, that he once told me life stinks big time. Those were the times that he was so pressured by everything that is happening on his life. But it’s too light for a reason to commit suicide. He knows that. But, still. It could be.
Love? Maybe. But he doesn’t have a special someone. He doesn’t have anyone to love that can hurt him eventually. He doesn’t have that. How can it be love? Yet, maybe that is the reason. Maybe it is because of lack of love life. Maybe it’s because he feels like he’s not being loved anymore. Maybe.
Family matters? Possible. Though, I really wasn’t able to meet his family. I don’t know. He never told me anything. All I know is, he feels alone when he’s at home. He feels isolated. He told me that. But he also told me that he loves his family so much. And he knows that they would cry if he would be taken out of their world. So it can’t be. Though, it’s possible.
Academics? Perhaps. There’s a lot of pressure. Even I can’t stand it. Then again, he’s good at this. He likes studying. I know. He’s one of the best in the batch. It can’t be academics. I know it has a lot of pressure, but he can withstand this. Yet, perhaps.
Or maybe it wasn’t really suicide. Maybe he didn’t kill himself. He can’t do that. So, maybe he was killed. Maybe someone who doesn’t like him for any reason at all killed him. He has no enemies. Except for one. Yeah. That freshman he bumped into as we were going to the gym. That freshman looked at him in disgust, in a cursing manner, as if my best friend did something wrong to him. But my best friend didn’t do anything wrong. He was even the one who said sorry. That freshman. What does he look like again? Fair complexion, a scar on his face, big eyes and a face that is totally pissed off with his life. Oh yeah. Oh no. Oh gosh. The guy I bumped into. That’s the guy! So that’s why he was so scared! That’s why he’s so speechless! He was even the first one who knew about what happened to my best friend. It’s because he killed my best friend! He killed my best friend!
I won’t be able to forgive him. I would tell on him right now. No. Maybe at the funeral. Yeah. I would find the right time to expose his crime. He’s a criminal! I just hope I won’t see him before then or I don’t know what I can do to him.
The day of the funeral came. It wasn’t like any other. A lot of lights are opened making the room appear very bright. The song being played wasn’t that sad. It was even kind of catchy. The atmosphere that his family tried to build was happy. It’s what my best friend wants. To make everyone happy. So even on his last day on earth, he wanted every one to smile not because he’s already dead but because even just once their life, they met him.
I saw his mother crying. And somehow, I knew what she was feeling. It was a great loss. I know. And most especially, she does.
The door opened. The guy I hated the most at that moment entered the room. Everyone was silent. Most especially me. He walked towards my best friend’s coffin. How dare he. How can he look at the person he mercilessly killed? How heartless can he get!
I stood up, ran towards him and punched him. Everyone was shocked. I ignored it. I have in front of me the person who is the reason why I won’t be able to see my best bud ever. I don’t care now. I want revenge. I want him to pay.
“How could you? How could you show up to the funeral of the person that you pitilessly killed?” I said, looking at him with flaming eyes.
Every one in the room gave an audible sound that signified their shock, while the person I hate the most was standing up, probably so that he can answer my question.
“Because… That was supposed to be me.”
This is it. Goodbye world. Goodbye to everything and everyone that tried to make me happy. I am sorry. I can’t stand it anymore. I am going to do this.
I was about to stab myself and finally end this suffering I am feeling right now when I saw something dark red trickling out of the floor. I looked at my body. Have I stabbed myself already? I knelt down, examined the red thing oozing out from the neighboring cubicle and confirmed that it is blood.
I rushed to the adjacent cubicle and found him on the floor. He was gasping for air. A knife is stabbed at his chest and shower was open, which made the blood flow from his cubicle to mine.
I was stunned. I tried to speak but no word came out my mouth. It tried to run away but my feet were glued to the floor. I felt like I was paralyzed. I can’t do anything but to stare at his gloomy eyes where I can see a flashback of my life. I saw everything that life offered me to be happy.
He was crying. Tears are running down his cheeks. I can see that he was very sorry and regretful for what he has done. He looked at me in the eyes, took out every ounce of energy left in his dying body just to say:
“Don’t… It doesn’t feel so good when you’re dying.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ang purpose nito??? hehe.. kung wala kayong nakitang kahit isang grammatical error, then you SO need to study english... hehe... I think there are 20-30 or more ata... ehehe... :)
