Better Caesar than Beethoven

I've been having check-ups and tests at the PGH to determine why my left ear ceased to function back when I was in Grade 3. Finally, after 7 years. Haha. Well, at least I just really want to find out what caused it (and make sure it won't affect my right ear or affect me in any other way that would prevent me from becoming a doctor. sayang kaya ang 7 years!). My parents want to find out if I can hear again. It's okay for me if I won't be able to just as long as no other part of my being would be affected. After all, after 7 years, I think I've developed much adaptation to accept and live with the fact that I'm half-deaf. Just like Ceasar.

But see, the doctors are thrilled with my case. I think if Dr. House would meet me, he'll find me interesting enough to cure (or not yet because apparently I haven't had any life threatening moments which I hope would stay that way). Why thrilled? Apparently, (warning: medical jargons are about to pop up) a profound and sudden hearing loss that passes the Calorics Test is not normal. Why? I have no freakin' idea. I guess first year medical students (that are not even in the medicine proper yet!) still do not possess the ability to determine what test results mean. Haha. Seriously. I guess we can only guess. But I really did try to understand the stupid graphs that the machine that did my tympanometry produced or the stupid signs and graph-like thingies that the doctor wrote during my speech audiometry. I tried. But failed miserably. Haha.

To get to the point, the doctors want a CT scan of my temporal lobe and they have decided to refer me to their, guess what, consultant (Consultants are, well, the doctors who have finished their residency, fellowship, etc. Its a long process so they're well experienced. :P). Apparently, my case is serious or interesting enough to be taken in by the condultant. (We're talking about UP doctors here! But I guess, a specialist would be able to give a better diagnosis.) I'm yet to have my CT scan and my rendezvous with the *tantananan!* consultant.

Their (the doctors who checked me) guess is that I may possibly have an inborn condition that manifests only after people grew up. And the guess came with the warning that my right ear might also have the condition which would make me fully deaf if I'm not careful.

To make matters worse, my mom informed me that our famly DOES have a history of such a condition that resluts into ears becoming deaf. So the guess misght actually be true. (House, where are you when people need you?!)

The news came like a "whoah!". I mean, I'd rather be off like Ceasar than Beethoven! (well, except for the talents and such. hehe.) Seriously, I'd kill myself if the world decides to deprive me of the ability to hear. At least, I know I won't be able to take it well. Please, God, help.

Haha. Soemtimes we take for granted things. I took for granted the fact that I'm half-deaf. I actually somehow liked it because it makes me unique. Now its something serious. Way beyond being uniqe.

I just wish I'm way way beyond becoming "special".