Yung mabigat na pakiramdam na di mo maalis at di mo matanggal na nararamdaman mo sa tuwing hihinga ka

Sometimes we just stumble into an opportunity, which we will decide to grab and out of it will come all those explanations you seek too much but never really got the chance to get. Realizations.

Suddenly, you understand the who's. You understand the why's. You understand the what's.

And you know, if you're reading this, I'm sure you'll understand nothing. Your mind will be tempted to assume it has an idea, but it doesn't. I think, my writing skills evolved into this capability to be so cryptic, sometimes it backfires and hurts me so much more.

Maraming pagkakataong pinipilit kong maging malungkot para makapagsulat. Pero ngayong malungkot akong talaga, bat hindi ko maisulat?

Kung sa pagsulat, nagiging totoo ang lahat, ibig sabihin bang may pag-asa pang kathang isip lang lahat to? Sana kapag binasa mong mulit ito, kahit gaano kalabo, kahit gaano kawalang direksyon ng sulating to, makuha mong muli, sarili ko mula sa hinaharap, ang nararamdaman ko ngayon.

Nawala ba? Paano? Please sabihin mo na lang.

I miss my old self back so much. I miss the walls. I miss the invulnerability against other people. If the yellow brick road and the rainbow bridge both lead to solitude, what was all this for?

Just kill me now.