3.29.2006

sagot kay reish.

natuwa kasi ako sa post niya eh. intriguing. haha.



eto YUNG POST NI KRISHNA (entitled "day trip part two"):



sa kwento nya sa kin.. *argument sa theology class*



student: sir, sabi nyo sobrang powerful ni God.



prof: oo.



student: sabi mo alam Nya ang mga nangyari na.



prof: oo.



student: sabi mo alam Nya ang nangyayari ngayon.



prof: oo.



student: sabi mo alam Niya ang mangyayari pa lang.



prof: oo.



student: so bakit mo nasabing wag maniwala sa destiny.. na nasa mga kamay natin ang mga mangyayari sa buhay natin, kung alam na ni God ang mangyayari, kung may naka-plano na Siya para sa ating lahat?



napaisip ako nito habang nanonood ng v for vendetta. hindi siguro ito yung exact words, pero ganito na yun sa pagkakaintindi ko. may naisip akong sagot, pero di ko na lang sinabi kay kuya. ngayon kelangan ko lang talagang ilabas para makahinga ng maluwag.



kuya, kung "sa susunod, wag ka na lang magtanong" ang sagot sa yo ng prof mo sa tanong na to, ako iba.



dati ito rin ang tanong ko sa sarili ko. hindi ko maiconnect na nasa sa atin ang mga mangyayari sa buhay natin, na pwedeng magbago nag isip natin anytime, at baguhin lahat ng nakaplano, pero, alam na ni God lahat ng mangyayari, na may "plano" na sya para s aatin, na wala na tayong magagawa sa mga plano Niya. ngayon iba na.



simple lang, sa tao, may oras, kay God, naka-layout na ang lahat sa harap Niya. sa tao, may kahapon, may ngayon, at may hinihintay na bukas. kay God, nakita na Niya ang kahapon, ngayon at bukas natin. alam Niya na magbabago ang isip natin sa ganitong "panahon", na pipiliit natin ibahin yung mga plano natin, kung kelan natin susubukang ibahin ang nandyan na. siguro nasa palno na ng Diyos ang pagbabago ng isip natin, at kung kelan mangyayari yun. na akala natin, may binabago tayong pangyayari, habang ganun naman pala talaga ang nakasulat sa tadhana. hindi lang natin nakikita nag lahat, kasi sa atin, may 'oras'. kaya walang coincidence, naiplano na ni God lahat, akala lang natin may kapangyarihan tayong baguhin ang mga bagay. gets mo ba? ang labo ata. magulo ako mag-explain eh. o baka naman magulo pa rin ang isip ko, at wala naman talaga akong sagot sa tanong niya. pero eto na yung nakuha ko sa pag-iisip habang nanonood ng v for vendetta. eto na lang ang sagot ko dun. at least ngayon, may sagot na ako sa tanong ko rin. sa sarili ko lang. ayos na yun.



 



at least hindi "sa susunod wag ka na lang magtanong" ang sagot ko.



salamat kuya, sa pagsama sa akin sa araw na to. andami kong natutunan.



heto na naman, nagttype kahit alam naman niyang di mababasa ng taong kinakausap ng sinulat nya ang sinulat nya. yehey. pero ayos lang. para na alng to s aiba pang tao.  sana may sense ng konti, hindi lang to, kundi ang buong blog ko. haha. tama bang magdrama? inaantok na ako.



 



ang comment ko:



hmm. technically kasi, kung tatanggapin natin yang reason mo, e di ibig sabihin may mga taong DESTINED maging masama? that they didn't choose to be that way but rather God planned it for them?



yak. sana hindi naman ako ganon.



anyway, eto ang sagot ko:



ang topic lang naman ay kung bakit sinasabing may choices tayo samantalang dapat alam na ni God yung mangyayari di ba so TECHNICALLY wala nang choices right?



Para sa akin ganito yan:



God knows everything - what happened, what is happening and what will happen. That's true. And we DO choose our own future. Tama ulit yun.



Contradicting? yes. because you have to look at it in a different perspective. Hindi mo sila dapat paglabanin. Dapat pagsamahin. Pwede naman di ba?



Kaya para sakin, God knows what will happen in such a way that He knows what will happen if you will choose to do this and He also knows what will happen if you choose to do the other thing.



malabo?



kunwari ganito. Nasa kalsada ka. Tapos may lilikuan ka sa right at sa left. Yung right papunta sa simbahan. Yung left papunta sa kulungan. Ikaw ang pipili kung saan ka dadaan. At hindi mo talaga alam kung saan ka makakapunta in case piliin mo ang left o right. Pero si God alam na niya na KUNG ANG PIPILIIN mo ay yung right, makakapunta ka sa SM at kung left naman, makakapunta ka sa kulungan.



Parang ganun sa totoong buhay. Kung magdededisyon ka at kailangan mong pumili ng gagawin mo para malutas ang isang problema, alam na kaagad ni God ang mangyayari sakaling piliin mo yung isa kesa sa isa or vice-versa. Pero hindi tala siya yung nagdedecide kung anu yung pinipili mo.



Alam niya lang kung anung mangyayari given that you choose to take this path but he does not really know which path you will choose. Ikaw na ang bahala dun.



This way, mareretain ang idea na may CHOICES tayo at ALL-KNOWING talaga si God.



Tsaka maganda din siyang explanation kung bakit nagkakaroon ng divine intervention - kung paanong alam kaagad ni God kung anung kailangan natin given that we choose to do something over the other.



yun lang. sana gets mo point ko. :P 



3.26.2006

I betrayed you again. for the nth time.
I know you're hurt. I know that very much and yet I don't keep myself from doing such things that may cause the wounds to go deeper. I can't stop myself from stabbing you each and every time I commit to those things. I know its painful. I know that you're bleeding. I know that you're crying for me. I know. I guess what's more painful is that I can't cry for myself. You know that I have longed to see myself standing tall and proud - that I have longed to stay with you forever, to feel every moment of my life with you. You know that more than anything in this world I want to strengthen my bond with you, to live my life where every moment is dedicated to you. More than anything, I want to keep that bond and to make it last until the last breath escapes my very being. You know how much I want to make you smile, but all I'm causing you is pain. What's worse is that I've done it before and I'm doing it again. Over and over I've told you that I condemn this to happen - that I won't let anything to stop me from preventing this. I've told you how much I would resist it and how much I would fight it. I told you I'd rathe die than to do it and cause pain to both you and my very own being. I told you how much I want not to subject to such deeds. I've tolds you that. And yet, I've disobeyed the very meaning of those words - words that I have spoken and vowed to keep. I am unworthy. I know. You've saved me once and not an ounce of gratitude or faithfulness could be received. I am embarassed over the fact that I disgraced you and yet you saved me. Moreover, I'm embarassing you again and yet you're still trying to save me. I thank you many many times. Countless, even. And yet, those ar still not enough. I still ask for strength, like I always do, and for faith, so that I would have a greater, stronger defense against my desires to cause you pain again. I gave you pain. I gave you suffering. I made you bleed. I made you cry. And I'm not even giving you proper credit. I'm guilty - guilty of not loving you as much as you have loved me. I love you more than I would ever do. I know that you know that. I may doubt that at times but I promise that it would forever stay as it is. But I still wish for you to wait and understand me. Why, you ask? Because as the song goes, "Although I cannot fly, I'm not content to crawl." So I'm gonna change this. And all I have is my will and you to solidify completely that vow. It would take some time. But I vow that someday, I would be able to make you smile again.

3.25.2006

untitled

for the past few months, I've been fond of the word untitled. haha. puro untitled na nga lahat ng lit pieces at blog entries ko eh.



***



we went to PHIVLCS kanina. wala lang. nalungkot ako over the fact that we were not really expected to do a lot of field work. o cme on. gusto kong sumakay ng helicopter!!



***



I have just realized that I lead a BORING life. hay. grabe. napakadepressing naman ng ideyang 'to. ganito pala talaga yung feeling when your life spins as fast as it can and then it would suddenly stop.



yeah. go pisay.



***



I have this great feeling na ayokng manatili sa bahay namin for the rest of the summer. haha. feeling ko may unyon na naman sila laban sakin. hehe. they always do that like as if I'm the worst person on earth. tapos lagi akong naiiwang walang kakampi.



MAKIBAKA. WAG MATAKOT.



***



I can't make a blog skin for my blogspot. kawawa naman yung blog ko. nag-one year old na siya't lahat wala pa rin siyang bagong skin. :(



eh pano naman kasi, ang hirap gumawa ng skin na uniquely mine. haha. labo. :P



sige na papalitan ko na yung skin nun. pramis. although yung sa tabulas malabo kong mapalitan unless gagawan ako ni rayray ng isang malaking pabor at gagawan niya ako ng bagong skin para sa tabulas account ko. :P



***



nag-enjoy ako sa champs gimmick. congrats rob.



***



wala na talaga akong drive para magsulat o gumawa ng kahit ano. buhay baboy na naman ako nito. :P



***



bakit ba pauliulit kong tinatype yang tatlong asterisk na yan? ang kulit ah.



***



last but not least, I have a celebrity friend. yap, I'm proud of you man. akalain mong andami palang nanood ng ANC. :)



3.14.2006

Dalumat 11

yap. the 11th installment of the official Philippine Science High School literary magazine has finally materialized.



Yehey!



Entitled Dalumat 11: Catharsis, for the english part, and Dalumat 11: Silakbo, for the filipino part, this edition of the Dalumat will feature views, emotions and expressions of a typical PSHS student.



Yap. isa lang ang tungkol sa pagibig dito. all others are about serious maters.



Watch out for it!



P.S. mauunang lumabas ang Dalumat 10: At The End of the Day / Mga Magagandang alaala. Ayun.



eto ang cover (nababaligtad talaga yan.):